IM (and my insecurities and failures and stuff)

Now Playing: Album: The Front Bottoms Artist: The Front Bottoms

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Excuse me while I annoy you to death.
I’ll try to talk to you until you’re in your grave and probably long after that.
I fantasize about the day you’ll say ‘hi’ first that’ll never come,
But it’s fine, because one response is all I need.

going into the woods

Now Playing: Album: Where We Were//How We Are EPs Artist: Michael Parallax

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I’ve talked about Michael Parallax in a post before.  These two companion EPs of his are coming out very soon and I was able to get them early by sending him a Valentine email, which was a lot of fun.  To check out his music, go to http://michael-parallax.bandcamp.com.

That sounded like a commercial, but I really like promoting this guy since he is not well-known at all.  I wish some more people knew about him because he shows truth and passion in his music without sacrificing the fun.  His music is a good mix of computer production and organic TLC.  I’m in love with it.

a week is too short

Now Playing: Album: Elephant EP Artist: Eyelit

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I checked my mail today for the first time since I got back to school.  My family’s Christmas card was in there.  I read the whole thing in my mom’s voice, because I’m sure she’s the one who did most of the writing.  Basically, my parents will type up a letter and send it to a bunch of friends and family to update them on what’s been going on with us since last Christmas.  It’s one of those things I’m really glad people do.  Most of the letter consisted of twelve paragraphs; one for each member of the family.  Reading the part about me really made me grateful for my parents.  Like, they really are proud of me somehow.  Reading the rest of the letter just made me miss all my siblings, even though I only left home a week ago.

closing the envelopes. never sending the letters. (2014 is done)

Now Playing: Album: American Nomad Artist: The Apache Relay

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I’m going into this knowing one thing: I want to write.  I want to force the frenzy of thoughts, desires, longings, and confusions out of my head and onto this keyboard.  And I want it to at least be legible.  My handwriting has never been very good.  I took handwriting courses through 6th grade.  I guess my mom thought learning calligraphy would help with my regular handwriting.  It didn’t.

sing along

Now Playing: Album: Takk… Artist: Sigur Rós

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I listened to this album while I made one of my most “recent” posts, even though that was months ago.  I don’t like to listen to the same thing too much for my blog, but I was feeling like this.  This album is so beautiful.  It has such an introspective but hopeful sound to it.  Those two words more or less sum up what I’ve been feeling lately.  I’ve been thinking so much, just constantly stuck in my head worrying about things I have said or have yet to say.  But I’m hopeful too.  I haven’t been as negative as I was towards the beginning of this semester.  I recognize more often how much good is in my life and how much infinite good is to come.

cords of the crowd

Now Playing: Album: Með suð í eyrum við spilum endalaust Artist: Sigur Rós

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That album title is a mouthful.  I know I can’t pronounce it right, even if I tried.  My older brother Stephen is learning Icelandic and, incidentally, really loves Sigur Ros.  I’m sure he knows how to pronounce all of their album and song titles.  He’s a cool guy.  He does what I wish everyone would do and refuses to conform to any set way of thinking.  He comes up with his opinions on his own, does his research, that kind of stuff.  I look up to him a lot.

turning points

Now Playing: Album: Takk… Artist: Sigur Ros

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It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything.  And it’s not that I’ve forgotten or not felt like it.  I really have wanted to write on here, get some thoughts out again.  I’ve just been catching up on life lately, I guess.  Making connections with people I didn’t really know before but wanted to.  Listening to music I hadn’t gotten around to before, like Sigur Ros.  I still haven’t listened to all of their albums, but I’ve really loving them so far.  The vocals are so beautiful and convey such meaning even though most of them are in Icelandic.  It doesn’t even make a difference.

wish i was thoughtless too

Now Playing:  Album: Maybe They Will Sing For Us Tomorrow  Artist: Hammock

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Sometimes it’s too much.  I feel like I can’t handle the weight of all these memories or the mindlessness of all these nights filled with too much thinking; too much feeling.  Are other people like this?  Why are they so good at holding it in?  Why does living and never thinking of anything past a surface level look so easy?  It sure as hell isn’t.  Not for me.  I doubt for anybody.  How can people just talk about school and work and money and how their day was and feel fulfilled?  How can we ignore friends who are obviously hurting inside and try to fill the emptiness inside them with small talk?

i’m not good enough

Now Playing: Album: VA Artist: The Last Bison

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I’ve been listening to this album all day on repeat.  I’m trying to be more financial-minded, so I haven’t bought it yet.  Spotify will do for now.  Even though it gets interrupted by ads, this album is magical, just like their last.  I love this band because they remind me how big the world is.  Much of their music is about the one state they’re from, Virginia.  If they can write so much about that one place, how much more is out there?  It scares me to think about it.

i’m up in the woods

Now Playing: Album: Michigan Artist: Sufjan Stevens

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I just hit play.  Those first couple low chords and that beautiful melody are hitting my ears.  The quiet, whispering words come in.  It’s simple and makes sense.  Like trees on a mountain.  The first chorus just finished and horns have entered.  A mountain isn’t simple.  There are paths up down, winding through it.  A secondary, quieter piano melody is pounding in the back, like another great giant behind this one.  As this song grows fuller, all the animals can be seen.  The bushes and berries.  Old campfires left by hikers.  And in the final, unresolved note of the song is the mystery of nature.